Trying to grow a business can be intimidating, especially later in life. However, isn’t that when we have learned who we are, why we are the way we are and have hopefully mastered the fine art of self-reflection? My dad wasn’t the “sit down with speeches” kinda guy. I don’t remember discussions on life, but I watched him. There are five areas of leadership he taught me and probably doesn’t even realize it
1. Appreciation
My father appreciated us. He tells stories about all the stupid things we did as children and teenagers, and he is a jokester himself, but he did and still does appreciate us. He had immense pride for the time I spent in the band in high school and often, to this day, reminds me of how stupid I was for quitting. However, 30 years later, I love reminiscing with him and his love for my musical talent. Not sure I had that much talent but he sure thought I did and it stuck.
When we are working with others, we need to show them our appreciation, through whatever venue feeds them best. When a leader values gratitude and appreciation for the efforts of the team, employees are more willing to take ownership, and it increases loyalty to the team and company.
“People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care” – John Maxwell
2. Mental Toughness
Dad traveled a lot overseas. His job took him to many different countries, with different cultures. When I listen to the stories, I imagine the amount of mental toughness he developed to deal with a myriad of issues, a sort of sensory overload. The hours on planes, language barriers, communication styles, religion, smells sights and sounds. Our success is weighed heavily on the way we handle ourselves in stressful environments. I never saw my father overly stressed and he never quit.
Mark Divine, the author of “The Way of the Seal,” writes about Mental Toughness in Chapter five of his book. It’s been my go-to book for months. He talks about the five skills for gaining mental toughness; controlling your responses, controlling your attention, developing emotional resilience, setting effective goals and visualizing powerfully. I highly recommend this book! It is a study guide for my future!
3. Authenticity
I was always looking for the next best thing. What could I be that made me better than what I was? Dad is an authentic person, he is real and doesn’t hide behind the curtain of success. He is successful through his own genuine character. To me, authentic leaders are honest and open, and they aren’t afraid to admit failure or ask questions. Looking at your moral perspective, do you always DO what is right or do you want to BE right?
When you model authentic leadership to your team, you open it up to growth and loyalty, and new ideas. Team members will feel valued and secure in sharing thoughts and cultivating them to fruition.
“Let us have faith that right makes might, and in that faith, let us, to the end, dare to do our duty as we understand it.” Abraham Lincoln, Cooper Union Speech, February 1860
4. Pull up your Big Girl Panties
Some might call this one, “get over it,” heard all the time, dates back to the early 70’s. For me, it was to stop complaining! It is life, and it owes you nothing. You can whine about it and stay in your misery, or you can move forward with solutions.
My dad once said to me, if you are going to come to me with problems, you better have some solutions. As a leader, it is crucial to be able to see beyond the big picture and solve problems. Anyone can complain, a leader solves. Our clients rarely know about the insignificant problems because we handle them before they become big.
5. Silence is Occasionally Necessary
This one might have been the hardest yet most beneficial skill for me to learn. Not everything needs an answer, yes we need to solve problems, but on some occasions, it is best to be silent. How do you know? If you are dealing with someone during an intense moment, maybe an event, it is not the time to air differences. Be silent. Pull up those big girl panties, do what you do best and let them do what they do best. After a few days, maybe a week, invite them to have a discuss and debrief the situation.
“Silence is sometimes the best answer.” Dalai Lama
If you took your life to pen and paper, you would find leadership skills everywhere, from everyone. Life is full of problems and solutions. I find that real, genuine conversations with people will open up a colorful world where you can visualize leadership lessons in all of it!